Rain comes to the rose
It soaks the ground
Penetrating to the grateful roots
Which once thirsted, are now quenched
Once hungered, are now satisfied

Raindrops caress the leaves
Along their sturdy stems
Washing clean
Rinsing away memory, regret
The water streams unharmed among the thorns
On its way to the ground

Rain comes to the rose
In a torrent of petals
Falling dreams

You took me flying
Somewhere between orgasm and worship
With the wind tearing at my hair

You never knew
I never forgot

Experience blown against the pane of my memory
As inexorably as a bird against a window

But leaving more than a few feathers

I hide behind a mask of written words
Talk to me with letters; I will be your friend
I will share my soul with you. I will be strong and faithful.

But touch me or look in my eyes and I will bolt,
Too much the coward to speak face to face
Even in the face of your love

I can bear anything but your judgment

I am the original control freak
Face to face I can’t control what you see of me
What if you see something you can’t accept

How could I go on

So I will write you letters
And tell you of my love and trust
But it is all so empty

Never enough trust to let you see me uncensored
Never enough love to let you have the upper hand
Never enough courage for unmasking

When the fear rises up all around you
I pray you hope
When your steps can only stumble
I pray you gentle paths
When you fall and lack the strength to rise
I pray you arms to lift you up
And when you lose sight of tomorrow
Let me light your way

When you’re weary of the struggle
I pray you quiet rest
When your burden is too heavy
I pray you hands to ease the load
When you’re feeling lost and worthless
I pray you courage to believe
And when you’re thirsting in the desert
Let me be your rain

Silence comes between us
Like a gauze curtain
Blurring what we see
My silence my self defense
Your silence my greatest fear
Silence warm and damp and comfortably numb
Like a womb
Like a shroud
I find myself wrapped in layers of it
No longer sure if you are even there
No longer able to reach out to confirm
I fade away