I clutch the stillborn corpse of all my dreams.
How long have I held her? Minutes? Hours? Years?
I stroke the cold and sunken lifeless flesh;
The smell of rotting becomes a sweet caress.

The flies that swarm and bite I don’t begrudge:
Their sting is one last thing I can still feel.
When dust to dust, may I that latter be;
Do I hold on, or does she have hold of me?

All my world, how can I let her go?
The less there is, the more I hold her close.
I find familiar comfort among the bones
And, solitary, worship what was lost.

When finally I can lay her down at last,
Who will be left to help me dig the grave?

Rain comes to the rose
It soaks the ground
Penetrating to the grateful roots
Which once thirsted, are now quenched
Once hungered, are now satisfied

Raindrops caress the leaves
Along their sturdy stems
Washing clean
Rinsing away memory, regret
The water streams unharmed among the thorns
On its way to the ground

Rain comes to the rose
In a torrent of petals
Falling dreams

You took me flying
Somewhere between orgasm and worship
With the wind tearing at my hair

You never knew
I never forgot

Experience blown against the pane of my memory
As inexorably as a bird against a window

But leaving more than a few feathers

When you wrinkled up the mountains with your fingertips
When you pressed in the lakes and the hollows just so
When you drew that wisp of cloud across the sky this morning
When you gave the sun its color and the breeze its scent

You knew as you painted the picture
The smile it would evoke on my face today
And I believe I can even see
You smiling back at me

I hide behind a mask of written words
Talk to me with letters; I will be your friend
I will share my soul with you. I will be strong and faithful.

But touch me or look in my eyes and I will bolt,
Too much the coward to speak face to face
Even in the face of your love

I can bear anything but your judgment

I am the original control freak
Face to face I can’t control what you see of me
What if you see something you can’t accept

How could I go on

So I will write you letters
And tell you of my love and trust
But it is all so empty

Never enough trust to let you see me uncensored
Never enough love to let you have the upper hand
Never enough courage for unmasking